are you still at the devil's house?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I can't turn off my feet"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
