she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
