in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I can't put those talents on a resume
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
