By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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