Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
