never play flip cup with pint glasses
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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