Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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