i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
