i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
