Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
