There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
