I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
