doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
