Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
