Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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