Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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