shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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