worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
