I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
