she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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