just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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