He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
