it wasn't lemon gatorade
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Randomize
