Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
