Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
