Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
