So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My life is pants optional.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
