What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The air was thick with penises
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
