I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just forgot I was standing up.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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