I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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