I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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