So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
