Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
