garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
