You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
