i jhust puked up my retainher.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
