I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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