btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
