I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
