He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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