my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
