Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
