all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
