sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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