Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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