Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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