Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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