NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
