That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
