Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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