hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
