i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
