just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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