OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
