Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
