Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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