I wanna bring you to show and tell
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
