Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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