I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She bit a glass in half.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
